CRITIQUE SERVICE I work as an independent book editor, line editor, and writing consultant.  I primarily serve novelists and short story writers. Gone are the days when an editor at a publishing house worked with a promising writer.  Now, a writer must present a picture-perfect manuscript.  I work closely with writers in a long-term relationship to shape fiction into the best product possible. I prefer to work with budding writers who are open-minded and willing to rewrite.   A novel is not written.  It is rewritten.   Our writing relationship is not finished until your novel is published.  (At that point, we celebrate with a lobster-and-champagne supper.  You buy.) FICTION CATEGORIES             NOVELS                     ADULT YOUNG ADULT          JUVENILE                    (No picture books, please)                                                     SHORT STORIES                                                                                    QUERIES SYNOPSES Before sending a manuscript, email me at lorenzo1776@yahoo.com. Send manuscripts to: P. O. Box 5001 Round Rock, Texas  78683-5001 MY FORMAL EDUCATION. Ph.D. (Spanish literature/1980/University of Kentucky) M.A.C.T. (Spanish/1975/Western Kentucky University) B.A. (Majors:  Spanish and French/1973/Western Kentucky University) I take on five promising writers a year.  (Sorry, five is my limit.  I have my own writing to do.) PUBLICATIONS/AWARDS: LORENZO AND THE TURNCOAT (2006) LORENZO’S REVOLUTIONARY QUEST (2003) LORENZO’S SECRET MISSION (2001) LORENZO AND THE PIRATE (2008) GREEN SLIME AND JAM (2001) KICHI IN JUNGLE JEOPARDY (2006) FAMOUS LATINOS (2006) Biographies for ages 4-8 CESAR CHAVEZ ROBERTO CLEMENTE FRIDA KAHLO GEORGE LOPEZ ELLEN OCHOA DIEGO RIVERA FORTHCOMING BOOKS: MOHAMMED JESUS MOSES GEORGE LOPEZ (Ages 8-12) Short Stories published in PIF Magazine, Millennium Science Fiction and Fantasy, San Diego Writers Monthly, Xoddity, Austin Writer, Roswell Literary Magazine, Canadian Writers Journal, Touched by Adoption (adoption anthology), Round Rock Leader, Merrill Ream’s speed reading course, and other publications. Honorable Mention in Fiction, National League of American Pen Women (Short Story:  "Star Apples") LORENZO AND THE TURNCOAT Winner, Arizona Authors Literary Award, 2006 Finalist, Cybils Award 2006 LORENZO'S SECRET MISSION Finalist, Book of the Year, ForeWord Magazine, 2001 Finalist, Golden Spur (Texas State Reading Association), 2006 LORENZO'S REVOLUTIONARY QUEST National TCARA Book Award, 2006 Finalist, Writers League of Texas Manuscript Contest, YA Division: FLINT AND STEEL MESSAGE IN THE MIRROR MEMBERSHIPS. Writers League of Texas Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators National League of American Pen Women Bernardo de Galvez Association Texas Connection to the American Revolution Association I am looking for fiction writers who have studied the craft and are serious about writing. No pornographic material, please. Close-minded clients who refuse to rewrite need not apply. Clients must submit the first 10 pages of a fiction piece, a check for $30, and SASE.  I will edit and send the work back.  If the client likes my work, we will continue working together. Ideal clients have Internet access and agree to meet via Yahoo chat to discuss their work. No credit cards, please.  I accept checks and Paypal payments. Clients must send SASE for return of work. CHARGES $3.00 per page/courier 12 font only. All other fonts will be rejected. No more than 25 lines per page.  Sixteen lines maximum on the first pages of chapters. What do you receive? Content/Substantive editing      Line or copyediting Instructional material Pre-Editing Consultation Post-Editing Consultation     Sample Editing for fee On-going coaching Editing of revisions at no further charge I require clients to read my novels.  I often refer to my own writing to give examples.        My typical turnaround time for a book-length work is two weeks. MY PHILOSOPHY ON WORKING WITH WRITERS I don’t believe in taking advantage of people.  Likewise, I don’t like to be taken advantage of. I welcome questions.            Writing is a difficult skill to master.  Getting published is even more difficult.  You need someone in your corner. =================================================================== WRITING TIPS STANDARD MANUSCRIPT FORMAT As the old saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Here are some general guidelines for your manuscript. l.  Use Courier New (12 pitch).  Why?  It's easy to read.  Editors have to read thousands of pages each week.  Don't use shocking colors and fancy fonts in an effort to "stand out from the crowd."  You'll stand out all right.  Your name will be burned in my brain and the next time I see it, I'll groan.  There are also typesetting reasons for using Courier New. 2.  Your manuscript should have twenty-five lines per page (except the first page).    The first page should have fourteen lines of text. 3.  Put a slug line (your last name, a short title, and page number) at the top right of every page (except the first).  This is how it should look.                                                                                                             Guzmán/Lorenzo's Pirate   2 Why is this so important?  Let me tell you a story.  One night, I was on the couch with a pile of manuscripts.  My son, who was six at the time, leaped into my lap. Papers went flying.  The scalding cup of coffee in my hand sloshed all over me-- and the manuscript. "Daniel!" I shouted, my temperature rising. My angry voice prompted my daughter to yell "Run, Forrest, run!" Daniel tore out upstairs and didn't show his face for the next hour.  (A very wise move on his part) I gathered papers and spent the next thirty minutes sorting them, grumbling and cursing under my breath.  Thank goodness the manuscript had proper headers. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Daniel lived to see his seventh birthday. 4.  Have a 1" margin all around.   5.  Use a standard header on the first page.  For example: Name                                                                    Approx. Word Count Address                                                                         Genre of Novel City/State                                                                                            Telephone Number                                                                               Website Address                                                                                  Email Address                                                                                     Half way down the page, center THE TITLE.  Beneath that, double space and type Chapter One.  There should be no more than fourteen lines of text on the first page. DO NOT PUT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER ON YOUR MANUSCRIPT.  There is a thriving industry in stolen social security numbers in the United States.  When an editor buys your story, he/she will send you an acceptance letter and a contract.  At that time, the editor will ask for your social security number for reporting income. Don't use bold and italics.  To emphasize a word, underline it.  Why?  Because bold and italics are hard to see in the text. Don't put the copyright mark on your manuscript.  It makes the writer look like an amateur.  Your publisher will get a copyright in your name. ==================================================================== Common mistakes in manuscripts 1.  No hook on page 1 2.  No hook at the end of Chapter One 3.  The hero has no goal.  (X wants to ____ because ______) 4.  It starts too slow 5.  It's unoriginal. 6.  Wrong facts. 7.  No redeeming qualities in the antagonist 8.  A protagonist who is too unlikeable 9.  No overriding theme/no book goal 10. Lack of goal, conflict, disaster. 11.  Too many characters 12.  Too many characters introduced too soon. 13.  Showing vs. telling 14.  Starting with someone other than the protagonist (unless it starts with a prologue) 15.  Not having the protagonist carry the action 16.  POV switches from paragraph to paragraph. 17.  Do not keep secrets from the reader. 18.  characters doing things apparently unrelated to what other characters are doing. 19.  Plot glitches.   20.  Straining belief.